butterfly reminder

 

I sit in my chair, gazing through the window at the treetops. A large golden butterfly skitters by, kissing the glass lightly several times. It comes to me: I’m keeping myself from seeing the blessings, from experiencing the miracles in the moment. I forgot to notice. Where is that easy, peaceful feeling that accompanies full engagement with what is? I realize that I forgot to be present. Swept under a wave, I resisted, was pulled farther down. Overwhelmed, I felt I would surely drown, my mind muddy with sorrow and fear.

But the butterfly.

The intake of breath at the remembering it brought. The long exhale of relief. Its a different world in just one breath. In this world, I am fat with gratitude. I’ve come back. I relax and the water now carries me. I ride it. This is no more complicated than learning to surf. It’s a skill, that’s all, and it takes practice to master.

I want to live skillfully. I allow the joy inherent in being alive to reduce my suffering down to size. It wasn’t so big after all. It just grew with all the attention my brain was giving it.

I wonder how long I will remember this time. I shake my head affectionately at my faltering progress. I breathe a soft thank you to the butterfly and to the Animator of the butterfly for the reminder. I breath in, I breath out, and I trust the process.

Photo: I sit in my chair, gazing through the window at the treetops. A large golden butterfly skitters by, kissing the glass lightly several times. It comes to me:  I'm keeping myself from seeing the blessings, from experiencing the miracles in the moment. I forgot to notice. Where is that easy, peaceful feeling that accompanies full engagement with what is?  I realize that I forgot to be present.  Swept under a wave, I resisted, was pulled farther down. Overwhelmed, I felt I would surely drown, my mind muddy with sorrow and fear. 

But the butterfly.

The intake of breath at the remembering it brought. The long exhale of relief. Its a different world in just one breath. In this world, I am fat with gratitude.  I've come back. I relax and the water now carries me. I ride it. This is no more complicated than learning to surf. It's a skill, that's all, and it takes practice to master. 

  I want to live skillfully. I allow the joy inherent in being alive to reduce my suffering down to size. It wasn't so big after all. It just grew with all the attention my brain was giving it. 

I wonder how long I will remember this time. I shake my head affectionately at my faltering progress. I breathe a soft thank you to the butterfly and to the Animator of the butterfly for the reminder. I breath in, I breath out, and I trust the process.

 

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