Reading a friend’s blog, I wondered what my animal totem would be, if I had one. I sat and let my mind rest just to see if something popped up. Maybe something cool like a white wolf or flashy like an eagle. Imagine my surprise when the creature that popped in was a bat!
But bats are kind of scary, right? Sort of symbolic of disease and death and yucky stuff. But then I read that the bat is considered a pretty neat totem. Some of the symbolism for the bat:
rebirth and transformation,
inner depth,
ability to see through illusion,
exploring the underbelly of reality,
comfort with darkness.
Then, a few minutes later, I ran across this piece of a poem by Wendell Berry:
To go in the dark with a light is to know the light.
To know the dark, go dark. Go without sight,
and find that the dark, too, blooms and sings,
and is traveled by dark feet and dark wings.
Suddenly a bat as totem makes perfect sense. These last years of transformation, of un-learning, of becoming more comfortable with not-knowing, of making friends with my shadow side … it’s a good fit.
I really don’t know squat about spirit guides or animal totems. But what I can appreciate is the imaginative representation of the qualities needed to thrive in this life. There is within the neurotic, twisted conglomeration I think of as “me” … a “me” that is wise, fearless, peaceful and full of compassion, able to handle life as it comes, moment by moment, with equanimity. There is within me the bat, the white wolf and the eagle, all three and more. Right now, I need the qualities of the bat. It brings me some sort of comfort to remember that I have all that I need for whatever is. I can trust my steps in this darkness, knowing that all is as it should be. There really are blooms in this place traveled by dark feet and dark wings.
The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice. And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice there is little we can do to change until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds - Daniel Goleman
THIS makes me so happy.
And Twi, I adore bats… always have! I think it’s fantastic that one popped into your mind when you were asking about animal totems, and I can definitely see how its qualities are those that you carry as well. That poem by Wendall Berry is freaking amazing, wow. xo
I’m still absorbing the reading you did for me. It’s been one of those times, you know them, when insights fly at you from several directions and your perceptions shift…an exciting and somewhat unbalancing time. I find myself wanting to stop and contemplate and ruminate. What I wouldn’t give for the opportunity for retreat.
But retreat or not, the urge to assimilate and not let life cause me to skim when I want to dive is too strong to ignore. So I guess I need to figure out how to find solitude. Tam and I share a room in a house with my daughter Rae and her 4 kids, so this will be challenging!